Crying is a big deal.
At least for me it is. Why? Because I hardly ever cry or even feel like doing anything near that. I've even shed only two tears on movies/books: the first - when Simba's dad died (Lion King) and the second - when L died (Death Note).
No one died this time. They'll be just far away... some even further. I often felt guilty for not being able to be emotinal and express my affection as vividly as they did... Maybe distance and time will change that... I hope.
Odd. I used to REALLY adore autumn and rain and clouds and all the signs nature gives to notify the approaching winter. This very autumn... I already despise it. I fear it would be colder, lonelier...
I have a theory! Crying, pain, suffering you name it... in their very core are nothing but an act of selfishness. Let me see... why do I feel so bad about parting with the coolest, sweetest, most adorable, bestest friends I've ever had? Because they won't be around ME, to support ME, because it will be ME feeling lonely. And living with that thought doesn't make the world brighter. (For the record... I still hate bright blindening hot cloudless days.)
My month and half of complete freedom is oficially over, too... so I'm also leaving my home town to replace it with big dirty crazy expensive Sofia... And leaving my family, too T__T... I mean, come on! Even though I won't admit it yet, I'll be having the time of my life in Sofia (on a second thought... I'm a student at TU so... uhm... )
but my parents are worrying for me too much, not that they don't have a reason to... I just don't wanna see them like that. I want to comfort them, convince them I'm going to be just fine... but I can't...
without bursting into tears and ruining my disguise.

Should I complain about something else, my dearset reader, you, who have suffered the total lack of sense of my flow of thoughts... or are you already fully convinced I'm in a desperate need for medication?

Sheesh! Luckily, I'm prone to masochism ... otherwise I'd be considering dressing up as a Japanese schoolgirl, go down the subway and do the irretrievable... I'LL DEVIDE BY ZERO!!! ... No I'm kidding.
I'll just cross the yellow line...

Great!! ^__^ Than I'll complain about one last thing: My handsfree is broooooke!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm doomed.
Oh, well... where did I put that navy blue sailor school uniform...O.o

See you all after I've entered the afterworld - the vortex of chaos, calculus, chalga, alchocolic delirium and cockroaches.
Date: 14th September
Place: Technical University, Sofia
Time: ... Ugh... yeah, I wish I knew.